I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
