mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
