he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize