oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
