If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
