Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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