If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
