The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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