Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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