I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
