Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
