Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
