Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
