when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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