How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im holly from the hills drunk
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
