what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you inspire me to be a worse person
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
