im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
