Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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