Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
