i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
