So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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