atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
