And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
