he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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