we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
