if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
