wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize