I CAN MOONWALK!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
