their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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