They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize