My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The best revenge is premature balding
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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