The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
