I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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