I feel like abortions should bother me more
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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