did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
