she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
