I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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