Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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