the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
