he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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