Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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