do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
