I wish I could teleport
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
