I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
