i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
