Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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