So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
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I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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