I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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