You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
