she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
