We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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