Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
