I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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