There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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