apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
