I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
