Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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