My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nicole vs. Life
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
