need another drink. this is the easiest way
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
