I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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