the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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