She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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