your room smells of hookers.
And success
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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