hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
