VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
They took my balls.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize