alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
