Pappa wants mamma naked
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
