Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Four minutes until I can fart!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize